Thursday, November 17, 2011

To not compare

This morning I felt terribly upset.. over small tiny little thing which is always said by my husband everytime got the chance. My husband always and always and always said my hair is not smooth and very thick and rough. He did it all the time and never realized it hurts me.

All the time.

I am angry. Upset but mostly sad because deep down I know I cant change it. It is just my hair 'type'. I tried applying some moisturiser, do some rebonding, cut it short. Nothing change.

Most hurting is when he said it and compare it with our Chloe's hair. If you want to tell me Chloe's hair is very nice, smooth and all the good things, I am more than happy. But please dont compare it with mine. It hurts. Even more hurting when you said it infront of your mother, which of course make it feel worse than anything.

I am really angry. But I dont know why. Jealousy creeps in I think..

So when I reach office I on my computer and find some peace (which I know I'll find by reading some good stuff/blogs) and first thing I type is this blog :

And God speaks to me. thru that blog. How He created me and loves me all the time.
I cry. It is so true. God shows me to be grateful of what I had instead of comparing with others.
I cry again. Now I feel okay to be just ordinary 'me' . The only 'me' in the world. God loves me.

Thank You God for your answer. It speaks directly to me. No matter how I put it in words, I cant describe how You have worked it out way before I even feel this way. ( you may notice that the blog was written on 11 Nov 2011 and I just read it now. at this moment. )

You are wonderful God and I am blessed every single day. THank You God.

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